Well, the pre-race anxiety finally came to an end at 7:07:56 AM on Sunday morning as I crossed the start line of my very first marathon…which by the end of the day I swore would also be my very last!

We had a perfect day. The temperatures were low but not too cool, and there was no wind. My game plan was to average a 12 minute mile pace for the race, bringing me across the finish line in just less than 5 ½ hours. My usual split times in a long run show me running faster than average in the first 3^rd of the distance, slower than average in the middle, and then faster than average again in the last miles. I reached the 14 mile turn around point in 2 hours 40 minutes; about an 11:40 pace…right where I wanted to be. I planned on mile 14 being significantly slower because at this point I knew I would walk awhile and refuel; take my 5 Hour Energy, refill my little bag of Chomps (I was carrying an extra stash in a bag hanging from my hydration belt) take some Aleve…stuff like that, and I did a little over 14 minutes for that mile, and then was back on my target pace of about 12 or less for the next 4 miles.

Then, at mile 19, I started suffering from ITB issues in my right leg. Five times in the last 7 miles I had to stop, massage my leg a little, and then walk until the cramp subsided. When I could run on it, I was easily able to run a 12 minute pace, but those miles that I had to walk for awhile killed my average. But I kept telling myself that my first goal was to finish the race, my second goal was to look strong when I crossed the finish line, and my third goal was to finish in under 5 ½ hours. I reached my first goal and just barely missed my 3^rd goal. And in a picture my husband took at the finish line, I think I look pretty strong for an old lady that just ran 26.2 miles for the first time in her life.

There’s something about rounding the corner and seeing that finish line that just energizes me. With about 2 tenths of a mile to go, suddenly nothing hurt. I could see the finish clock on its arch with the crowd lining the street on both sides. I knew Tom was down there somewhere waiting for me, watching me reach this goal I had worked so hard for. Before the race started, when I was still obsessing over whether or not I could really do this, Dave Busby told me he knew I would do great and to remember to look for him because he would be waiting there to share a “high five” as I came down the final stretch. Sure enough, there he was. Even as I was picking up speed, I stuck out my hand and met his open palm, acknowledging his faith and encouragement. I heard Efren on the PA system saying my name, calling me a champion (ok, so he called everyone a champion, but it still felt good!) and remarking on the giant smile on my face. And then my whole focus was on the finish clock. I watched the seconds tick off as I kept running faster and faster, feeling like I was flying. At some point that I wasn’t even aware of, my hands ended up above my head and I was screaming like a fool as ran across that finish line! I couldn’t believe I had actually done it.

And then, best of all, there was Tom waiting for me. The mental picture that kept me going during those last hard miles was Tom waiting for me at the finish line. The hug I got from him was the best thing ever! Even better than the Gatorade that was handed to me after he let me go!

Other great moments at the finish line included seeing some friends that were waiting for me. One was the first person I met in the ShadowChase Running Club, Dave Barrett. When I went to my first group workout, he came up and introduced himself, then promptly directed me to work out with the walkers. (He asked if I was a runner and I said I wanted to be…I didn’t know at the time that the runners who went to that work out were FAST! I was no where close to ready to run with that group then! They’re still twice as fast as I am.) Dave was standing right next to Tom when I came in, and he’s the one who had a Gatorade open and ready for me. Another person waiting for me was a long time friend, Debra Bush. I was so surprised to see her, and she took a picture of Tom hugging me, just as I had visualized so many times when I started to doubt I could do this. That mental image kept me motivated when the training got hard. Now I have a photo of the real thing to remind me that you have to dream it first to make it real!

Also there at the finish line greeting everyone was Marathon Goddess Julie Weiss. She was going to run the Rome Marathon on Sunday, but decided to come to ours instead, and said she plans to come back next year! How about that? Our race getting picked over a race like Rome??? Our little race here in Modesto is growing. We’re getting elite runners, famous runners, celebrities, and now there’s talk of Olympic hopefuls coming to try to qualify for the 2020 Olympics because our course is fast and our race is well organized. We even made headlines on RunnersWorld.com! Look out world, here comes SAMM!

Within an hour after finishing, the rush had finally worn off and I was pretty miserable. I began suffering gastric distress and my joints began to ache. My car was parked 2 blocks from the start/finish area, and when I parked there, I thought that was pretty close. Let me tell you, that 2 block walk to get to my car seemed way longer than the 26.2 miles I just ran! I was never so grateful to be able to sit down! I always keep some herbal remedies in my car for times like these when I need some immediate pain relief. Click here to read more about what I use, without it I don’t think I’d be able to drive home. I had my usual dose, let it sink in then started the 15 minute drive home which seemed to take forever. Then it was some bathroom time, some hot tub time, then some more bathroom time, then a 2 hour nap. (I would have slept longer, but my kids decided to come over, although they didn’t stay long.) The hot tub really did help with easing my muscles, so I’m even half tempted to have one from a site similar to milehighhottub.com installed at home for after every run I do. Hopefully, it will help with muscle rehabilitation! After way, after all that I spent the rest of the evening Facebooking with my running friends and family, relaxing in the recliner with my feet up, and waiting for Tom to come home. (The work of race crew volunteers is not over when the race is done; there’s SO much for them to do. Thanks, all of you, for making this experience possible for me.) And no, I didn’t eat hardly anything after I got home. I know we’re supposed to, but my stomach just wasn’t interested. The only thing I really wanted was a DQ chocolate shake, but I didn’t have the energy to go get one. I did finally manage a Greek yogurt around 8:00 PM, and a little ice cream around 9:00. Then, finally I was able to lie down and go back to sleep.

Monday morning I felt so much better! I had scheduled a vacation day because I had no idea how I would feel, and it was probably a smart thing to do. I didn’t hurt too much, but by around 1:00 PM I was feeling pretty worn out again so I relaxed and started reading up reviews on the best CBD oils that I could use for future purposes if I’m experiencing any soreness, as it’s said that this product helps to relieve that. But today, I’m feeling fairly normal, (well, normal for me), except that my thighs are a little sore, but not too bad.

What an amazing journey this has been! Just over 3 years ago I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting, weighing in at 224.2 pounds. At that time I could not have run from my front door to the curb if my house had been on fire. If someone had told me then that on March 23, 2014 I would run a marathon, I would have thought them crazy.

As for what comes next…well, you just never know. Sunday at about mile 19 I swore that I would never run another marathon, and my resolve became firmer as my misery increased Sunday night. Then as I was analyzing my splits yesterday, I found my self thinking, “next time I should try this or do that…” Next time?? Am I crazy?? Well, maybe a little. J But for now my goal is to see how well I can place in the club’s Grand Prix series. Run for Health is coming up on April 12^th. I need to rest up and make sure I’m well recovered before I go out and try to break any speed records, so that run will probably be really slow, and I’ll run it just be for the grand prix finisher points. If I place, fine, if not, fine. Then hopefully by the Modesto Memorial Classic in May I’ll be ready to see how fast I can go again.

Since I worked so hard to get to the fitness level I’m at now, I plan to maintain at least a half marathon fitness level, which means that every other week, once I’m fully recovered, I’ll probably run between 12 and 15 miles for my long run. (I would never have believed I would be saying that a year ago!) And at that level, if I decide to run a marathon again, I hope to be able to train up to it in 3 months instead of taking 6 months to do it! I may have to download a fitness app to help track my progress, so looking into websites like Cell Phone Deal as well as others like it, will be able to help me figure out which would be best for my goals.

And finally, I want to thank everyone who made this possible for me. Heidi Ryan, our fearless race director, you created an event to be proud of. We will miss seeing you at the helm, but your “retirement” is well deserved. You and the legion of people who have worked with you for the past 5 years to make this event into what it has become deserve more acknowledgement than I have words to express. (And, we all know I have a lot of words!) Karen Lozano, thank you for the great job you do with our annual Movie Night, as well as all the other work you do as co-director that most of us don’t know about. Thank you to all the volunteers, whether you gave a couple of hours or week/months of your time, I know this event would not be possible without you. Thank you, Jeff Lozano, Mike Mason, Susan Taylor and all the coaches and mentors of the adult training group. Your knowledge and encouragement helped so many of us first timers make it to the finish line. Thank you, Jan and Colleen, for getting me through a tough training run…my new besties. To all of our sponsors, thank you for your generous support. All of the hard work would be for nothing without the means to put it in motion. Because I know the 2015 SAMM planning starts now, thank you Vickie Chu-Hermis for taking over as race director.

And most of all, thank you, Tom. Thanks for not complaining when the house is dirty, the dishes are piled in the sink, and the laundry doesn’t get done because I am out running. Thanks for being there at the finish line waiting for me when I cross. Thanks for always believing in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. I can’t imagine my life without you.

To anyone reading this that still thinks they could never do it, see it in your mind first…create that mental image, then in believe it, hold that image tight. Let that image carry you past the challenges. Don’t think about how hard it might be; just think about how sweet reaching the goal will be. To quote St. Augustine, “What can be hoped for which is not believed?”

Twelve days. Twelve days to the big event. I’ve been working toward this event for six months now. Or a year. Or a couple of years. Or a lifetime. It all depends on where you want to start counting, on what you want to mark as the starting point.

If you use the logic that all past events in your life make you who you are today, then March 23^rd will be just another point to where the events of my life have led me. If you consider the starting point to an event as the moment where, if you had not taken a particular fork in the road, you would not be arriving at a given destination, then my path to the marathon started about two and a half years ago when I first decided to take up running.

But, if you want to consider the starting point as where you decided to do something specific, then my marathon quest began last October when I registered for the Modesto Marathon. I had joined the training group in 2012, (for the 2013 SAMM), although never with the intention of running the marathon, or even the half. I just wanted to get faster and stronger for the 5k. But somewhere between March and October of 2013, I got this crazy idea that I could run a marathon. I started out by running some 10k distances, then trained for and ran a half at the Peace Officers Memorial. Encouraged by my performance there, I made the decision to run the full marathon at the 2014 SAMM. Just to keep myself from backing out, I registered very early on.

Then, shortly after registering, I was diagnosed with a stress fracture to my right tibia for the second time in a year. First I cried, then I got angry, then I finally started to think about my options. I could still walk, and it was early in the training program. At the distances we were doing, I could continue to train at a walk. If I was careful and didn’t injure myself further, by sometime in January when the distances starting getting longer, I should be able to start running a little. I realized that as long as I could complete 26.2 miles in less than seven hours, I could still complete this marathon.

And so, I walked…and walked…and walked. And sometimes I cheated and jogged a little, but then I would get scared that I would set myself back by re-injuring my healing tibia, and I would walk again. And finally, January came. It had been two and a half months. I had developed a power walking gate that allowed me to cover distance quickly without the impact I got from actually running, and it allowed me to get my heart rate up higher than I could get it walking with a normal gate. But I had to be careful because it was so easy for that power walk to turn into a jog…and I so wanted to run.

By February I was running all my training miles again, and every time I finished I waited nervously to see if there was any lingering pain in my shin. The long runs scared me the most. What if I hurt myself again? The marathon was so close… My right shin seemed to be fine, but I nearly panicked when my left shin started to hurt. I quickly searched for some helpful stretches and the stretching did help to eliviate the pain a little. It took me a couple weeks to realize that what I was feeling there was shin splints, not a stress fracture. Ice packs on a regular basis, along with some massage, and the shin splints have become negligible. To cure the shin splints properly, the active release technique can be used.

Then, finally, it was time for our longest training run of the season, the longest training run ever for me; 22 miles. There were moments that I didn’t think I would ever finish. In the back of my mind was recurring thought; and the marathon is 4 more miles than this! I began to doubt that I could do it. My time was disappointingly slow…I had been averaging the same pace when I was power walking.

As I drove home I had to remind myself that this marathon was not about going fast, it was about persevering. It was about doing something hard, but doing it none-the-less. It was not about finishing first or finishing fast, it was about finishing something I set out to do, and not because it was easy but because it wasn’t. It was about crossing the finish line, even if I had crawl across it. It was about accepting no excuses. So, when I got home, I went straight out to the pool, sat on the edged wrapped in a towel to keep the cool air from penetrating my wet shirt, and stuck my legs in the cold water up to my knees. Why it had never occurred to me before now that I had a giant ice bath in my own back yard, I don’t know, but once the shock of the cold water subsided, I could almost feel the inflammation leaving my lower legs. It felt wonderful. The sun had come out after the drizzly, cloudy morning had passed and it was warm on my face. A calm peacefulness washed over me. Yes, it had been hard for me, and yes I ran much slower than I had hoped to, but I did it. And I would do it again, plus that extra 4.2 miles, in three weeks. No excuses.

The next day I expected to wake up with the usual stiffness I experience after a long run, but I felt fine. Well, the second day after a long run is always the worst for me, so I figured by the next morning everything would be hurting and stiff, but Monday morning came and I still felt fine. I had run the longest, hardest training run ever, and I felt fine! Nothing hurt! Not my muscles, not my shins, nothing. And then I thought, well of course nothing hurts. That was the point of training, wasn’t it? Not just to be able to do the distance, but to condition your body so that you can do it and not hurt. Imagine that…it worked.

So, now it’s taper time. Saturday was an easy 12 miles. Someone once posted on Facebook about how funny it was that we go from “OMG, I have to run 12 miles today!!!” to “Gee, I only have to run 12 miles today…” Eight months ago I had never run further than 6 miles in one run and that seemed hard. Now 12 miles seems like no big deal. I actually plan social activities in the afternoon or evening after a 12 mile run now, whereas six months ago my plan for the rest of the day after a 12 mile run was to sleep.

Taper time…a couple of months ago I was looking forward to this time where the demanding training schedule eased off a little, where the distances began to get shorter instead of continually getting longer. Now that it’s here I feel a little lost. Maybe I’ll have some time to prune all the dead growth from my garden or hire Milwaukee Spring and Fall Cleanup Services (or similar ones) for spring cleaning the house. But, for sure, I need to find something to do besides obsess over the marathon. Whereas before I thought the training might kill me, now it’s the waiting; the mind games I play with myself; the self-doubt trying to creep in. Perhaps I shall look to a new method of exercise, maybe weight lifting. A friend has mentioned that steelsupplements.com is a great source to start.

Through all the ups and downs during the months of training, there have been a couple of things that have kept me going, kept me focused on my goal. One was the idea of running my first marathon with my ShadowChase friends, some of who will also be running their first marathon. One of the people I was looking forward to celebrating with at the finish line left us on January 2^nd of this year. Sweet, sweet Wendell…I miss you man, and this marathon is for you. The times I wanted to quit or drop back to the half, I thought to myself, no…I’m going to run this for Wendell because we were going to run it together.

The other thing that has kept me going when I wanted to just say forget it was the mental image I have of finishing. I see myself coming toward the finish line, sometimes I’m flying, sometimes I can barely put one foot in front of the other, but always there is the feeling of triumph and accomplishment that comes from doing something hard, something you weren’t sure you could do. As I cross the finish line, I see myself accepting my finishers medal, bowing my head so that the volunteer can place it around my neck. And then finally, best of all, my husband Tom waiting for me, wrapping me in his arms, hugging me tight, holding me up. My biggest fan. My strongest supporter. I love you. I want that moment in my memory forever.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling that this goal to run a marathon is such an overwhelming thing, I think about the folks who make it look so easy, the ones who run multiple marathons a year, or the ultra runners who use a marathon as a training run for a much longer distance, and I feel like I must be making this into a bigger deal than it really is. But then I look at me. Just me. I think about where I was a few years ago, and where I am now. For me, this IS a big deal. I remind myself that everyone had to start somewhere. Even the ultra runners started life unable to walk. I’ll never be an elite runner. I’ll never be the fastest or run the farthest or hold any records. But, I’ll have challenged myself to do something beyond what I thought I might be capable of doing.

In twelve days…

Julie Stanley

3/11/14